Day 2 Self-Discovery / Logistic Planning
Today we’re going to talk about a foundation for charm that we all have to of conceptualized strongly. Which is creating a sense of self identity and leadership in that identity, also were going to handle some logistics in advance so you can be less stressed at your event.
Assignment Part 1
Watch the following while doing 100 pushups and send me the picture this time in the email
DON’T GIVE A FUCK, if your a nerd, a jock, or a Lord of the rings fan earn it, and use it!
Assignment Part 2
Make a list of your favorite hobbies and events you would like to go to or are already pursuing.
Make a list of the groups you would want to hang out with such as musicians, gamers, cosplayers, football fans and stereotypes you want to be positively associated with, this will come into play tomorrow and will help with below.
Go to meetup.com / coachsurfing.com / eventbrite.com/ reddit.com or any other event organizing platform and choose 3 events or create 3 events ideas for after this friday to host or attend that you can casual invite a group of at least 4 people too.
Skill Building: High Value Person / Leader
This is will give you another conversation topic past your opener that will display value to the person you’re communicating with and to hook them.
Also there is this concept called interview mode, it’s a weakness of mine. Its when you pose more questions to people then statements you propose. Asking people if they want to join you for an event you’re hosting before asking them what they do for fun makes you more comfortable to talk to and makes the conversation seem more balanced since you’re using your statements to ask them questions.
You need to learn to be vulnerable first and provide value for people before you ask for value from them, allow yourself to get rejected before they reject you
Skill Builder: Social Proof / Preselection
Also if you’re hosting the event, and you can get an audience that shows them that they can assume you’re cool, since the other people at your event form a sort of social credibility, or what in the PUA community is known as social proof. This is why we are bring girls with us to the bar, if they see us already selected by other girls they are less likely to be threaten by our presence, this is referred to specifically as preselection.
Skill building: Know yourself, know your dream girl/guy
By seeing what groups stereotypes you both belong to and are attracted to you, you can learn the places other than clubs after this boot camp to meet those people, and if things go south you already have those events to meet new people planned as part of this exercise. So many times people won’t find the right girl, and it’s because they’re looking in the wrong places.
You will most likely not find the mate you want to spend your life in at a club as well because there is less chance of shared interested. We only practice there because it gives you a chance to overcome your own shyness by talking to so many girls in one night.
Later we will find venues and create venues to find the girl that suits you, for example yido meet some cute gamer chicks he’s dating from the nerd speed dating group he hosted. This was intentional, set to his desired age range, and the type of girls he was interested in, at a venue he hangs out at regularly. The girls he meets here have a higher chance of being the type Yido is attracted to, and if it fails at that venue he can just play games with his bros.
I meet beautiful elaine at Karaoke, using this exact tactic, in fact I asked for her number using the technique above, also now I have an awesome gf who likes karaoke and is helping me edit this in real time, thanks elaine. Winkie face 😉
Skill: Group Signalling / Subtle peacocking
Also your style should include some trinket or item that easily identifies the tribe you’re attracting or that you’re from, this is my more subtle version of Peacocking. For example I wear a necklace with an anime ring on it, sometimes suspenders to represent my nerd core, and I used to wear a leather rocker bracelet when I wanted to talk about metalsome. These are also conversation topics, that people will ask me about that gives me one less conversation to have to adlib on the fly. This will come into play when we go to the store tomorrow.
Technique: Number Close Assist
More often than not when you ask for someone’s number there has to be a reason besides small talk to get it, the easiest way to do this is to have an event that you can invite them to that is interesting during the initial conversation. You can say hey, I’d love to invite you, how do I contact you facebook or are you one of those old school phone people. This also removes any sexual tension from the number ask, although you should be qualifying your interactions by explaining why you like some one, if you’re afraid of being sexually aggressive, i.e. creepy this is a good way to avoid that.
Assignment Part 3
Go to yelp or google maps and find a restaurant, club, bar, or in my case karaoke joint near the friday location that is open late and and near your home location that is open late that you can invite people to after the event.
If you don’t live next to any events near your house come up with a fun event at your house such as a costume photoshoot, cooking, or game that you can perform together.
Skill : Instant Date
I call these instant dates.
Numbers are for losers, instant dates are for winners!
You want to set yourself up to find out if your compatible as quickly as possible, the easiest way to do that is to separate from the group to a nearby venue and talk 1v1 (see what I did there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )
to build a stronger connection faster. Why spend 2 days meeting some one when you can insta-date all in one night.
The other night we invited some friends over a friends place to hang out after a meetup, we didn’t have a plan so we played a boring board game for an hour then I went home, it was lame.
It was better than nothing but it was clear he didn’t have a plan. When these opportunities to isolate a group or person from a venue appears you want to have nearby locations planned out so its auto-pilot, so you can focus on having on the people not the activity.
Advanced Skill: Tour-guide
Also knowing local places of interest or nearby events is another value add, that makes you look like a social leader. At the last meetup did you notice how lower value it looked for the people asking what are fun things to do afterwards versus how I knew every event and club worth going to in the area. It also focused all attention on me, and got the girls asking me where to go later, some added me on facebook just to continue that discussion.