Day 1: Have a plan opinion openers!
For this boot camp we are going to be praticing cold approaching, that means walking up to strangers you have never meet before and trying to make a connection while feeling competent. This strategy works for meeting both men and women, in-fact I’ve done it to you multiple times to you and in front of you, and you never noticed. I start every meetup event with 3 or 4 of these when I don’t have the confidence or the energy to come up with a spontaneous hook, for this charisma training concept we will be borrowing from the pickup style called indirect, popularized by The Game, Mystery Method, and Real Social Dynamics.
Later in the week we will be praticing more direct methods, but for the ultra shy I want you to have this classic tool in your back pocket as a starting point.
Your Daily assignment: This homework is important, based on feed back from our experiences at the club, and during day game running out of things to say is the largest recurring problem, repeatedly students have told me they wish they did there home work in there entirety before approaching at their local host-spot!
- Create 4 personal opinion openers, you can choose one from the list of examples below and put your spin on it, and then email me them at firstname.lastname@example.org, I will review them and then tweak them or discuss with you over chat what we can do to make them a bit more solid, clear and concise.
- Watch the following video and laugh this isn’t an example of what your learning this week, but its important we learn to have fun while doing this stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRyYqONTZs0
- Do 100 push-ups within an hour and send me a selfie with you smiling when your done. If your out of shape, do those push-ups on your knees or standing against a wall to get started.
- Why the push-ups? because on day 3 your going to post the picture on social media with #100 push-up a day challenge, and see what friends comment or like, these friends are the ones who are invested in your growth, there the ones you want to invite out with you when you need support at the club or need to talk some one to cheer you up.
Remember all techniques are to make you comfortable and approach, not to trick or mis-lead some one into liking you. This is about self improvement.
Structure of an Opinion Opener:
- Time Constraint
- Humble Brag / Demonstration of High Value
- Opinion or Question,
- Qualify why you want the answer from them.
- Respond to their Question
- Ask them how they all know each other.
Example: Opinion Opener
Hey, I need your opinion on something quick while I wait for my friends to come back, (time constraint) My friends and I go out and host crazy parties every week, and one of our favorite things to do is create weird new party ideas (humble brag / DHV ), for example when Pokemon-GO came out we rented a limo and played in style while traveling midtown(hook and example), you guys have a fun energy (Qualification) and it’s my turn to host our crazy party, what ideas can you think of?
(these are my old routines and worked for me, don’t just copy them unless they apply to you)
Quick question and I’ll be out of your hair, I really need a girl’s opinion on this, when a girl kisses another guy is it cheating, what if it’s with another girl. I saw a friends girl at a club when I was out salsa dancing, and she was making out with another girl don’t know if I should tell him or not.
Next Step: Tease them about the double standard or about being a prude
Favorite Cartoon show.
Hey I’m on my way out, but you have a good energy and I have a question I wanted to ask you, another magician friend of mine, just ran up to me and gave me a cold reading based on my favorite 90s cartoon show, and he was spot on prediction of the personality and my friend group. So I want to practice this skill, what’s your favorite show when you were in high school, for example boy meets world, captain planet, degressi or the Simpsons.
Next Step: Make wild predictions, practice your cold reading.
I have to get going, but you seem interesting and I need to get insight into something that happened the other day from a pretty lady, I was hanging with a friend while she was babysitting, and we showed the kids Mulan and a girl started telling me that Simba was her favorite Disney prince and she wanted to marry him someday, a little weird I thought, but okay.. Which Disney prince was your prince charming growing up?
Tease them about what it means. Joke about some similarity between the prince and you Give them your favorite Disney princess.
I need your insight on something, I’m totally at lost here and you seem like the cute nerdy type, What is the difference between sleeping beauty and snow white? Why the hell are there two different movies?
Hey guys, I need a quick opinion about something. My friend just got two puppies, a Pug and a Beagle. She wants to name them after an 80’s pop duo… she wants to name them… DURAN DURAN… I think that’s a horrible idea… you can’t have two dogs with the same name. Do you guys have any ideas?
I was thinking Sonny and Cher would be a good one, because the Pug dog is a male and the Beagle dog is a female. But they’re 70’s, not 80’s, so that won’t work.
Maybe Axel and Slash would be good, but they’re rock n’ roll hair band style.
Milli Vanilli was a thought, but those are both guy names. We need a female name. Plus, Milli doesn’t fit a Pug or a Beagle.
Tease them about their music taste or lack of music tastes.
- Get used to using these on women and men, when first entering a venue, use them on the first guys you see if your feeling shy.
- When we are nervous it’s always easy to lower your energy then raise your energy, so at first be over the top and as people respond temper your approach.
- Have slightly higher energy than the groups you approach, always be more positive and upbeat then you think you need to be
- Talk loud, yell if you have to! It is always better to be louder then you need to be then quiet.
- Approach sets of people over people alone. In mixed groups address members of the same sex first.
- Don’t worry about transitions. Just jump into new topics on the fly, and see what sticks.
- Always keep the questions positive.
- No matter how badly it goes try to smile and laugh when you walk out of the approach, and thank them for your time. From a distance people can not tell you got rejected.