The past two years have been crazy. I got my life together, and I decided to jump down the rabbit hole just like everyone else on here, and now I’ve come out the other side as someone who has spent two years immersing themselves in what I originally called the world of pick up and what I’ve come to start referring to as charisma training.
In these two years I’ve gone through a lot, I did a 1000 approach challenge, a 30 day club challenge (multiple times), I took on students (one of which was autistic), I studied magic and just finished my first paying magic gig, I studied photography and started doing photo shoots with amateur models, I helped start and now run multiple meet up groups, I’ve sang on stage badly with bands and I’ve even done multiple dancing lessons. I even outsourced my online dating profiles for a while and had teams in India setup dates for me. After all this my life has stabilized a bit and I now have some clarity too look back on. This is what I wish I was told, outside of all the programs outside of all the books, and understood clearly before I started out.
Its all about adding value, abd being able to show value. Recognizing our own value, value in others, and being able to recognize what other people value. This one line sums up all of it, the psychology of it all is as simple as this line, but simple doesn’t mean easy. Every time you interact with a person your main concern should be, “how can I make this a lasting memory”. The routines, are all just ways to teach us how to show our own value. The approach is all just a dance to say hey I’m worth your time. Everything else I’m going to say comes from this main principal. So understand the Value stack, for more info on that listen to tony robbin’s stuff, or a lot of the old mystery method ideas, maybe even look into studying NLP.
Embrace failure, or learn to go insane. Seth Godin (google it, he’s a marketing genius) once stated “the way investors win is by having the most data points.” In order to have the most data points you have to learn how to play the game in a way that when you lose you can just step right back in the next round. The more you’re able to fail and be vulnerable the more chances for personal growth you’ll have. If you don’t learn to fail and brush yourself off you’ll never become objective. Our goal in this endeavor is to spot patterns that contribute to adding and displaying higher value. If your emotional its hard to objectively pick those out, or even to survive the tests necessary to learn those skills.
Outcome dependency is a trap, anything out of your control is truly out of your control. The original urge was to get X numbers or X F closes.. That was a stupid idea because it put my fate in the women I was approaching, not in myself. I can’t growth chart my progress based on chance. Once I took a step back and decided I am going to try to do X approaches, I am going to try to hug X girls, I am going to try to go to X events everything changed. Failure became in my hand and not in the whim of wither a girl was married or not, or just not in the mood. I could take pride in my accomplishments. One comment a famous pick up artist said that I used to text myself when I got depressed was, “Do you want the girl, or do you want the skill” Of course I want the skill, and I want the right girl.. I don’t care if these practice girls fail. I want to take the time to learn the skills before I worry about the results.
Stick to one program, Seriously.. you’ll paralysis yourself trying to focus on multiple things.
Towards the end of the second year I started studying magicians to understand the true best way to approach. The advice I got from the books I read was when learning card tricks, its better to sit down and master one trick then know 5 badly. The more you study the more you freak out, and every program always has the same message, go out and approach. I regret spreading myself thin, in the end I wish I only studied from the book “Models” . Everyone has there own style so I also recommend mystery method, Simple pickups paid services, or the rules of the game by neil strauss. Hell even Ross Jefferies will get you where you need to go if you just follow it. The best work out is the work out you do. Don’t over diversify until you’re an intermediate or your just engaging in intellectual masturbation.. in fact why are you reading this you should be out there practicing.
The people in your life are one of the strongest obstacles. Surround yourself only with people moving forward.
I got students because I found that having myself accountable to others who are also growing made me train harder, and approach more and even observe more. So many times the only thing that kept me going was them pushing me forward. Conversely whenever I doubted myself it was usually because of someone who was ashamed of the direction their life was going and started discouraging me it as if my success was an attack on their lack of happiness. You’re going to lose old friends, but you know what that is a good thing. I’ve honestly lost friends I’ve had for years many of them in the past 2 years and yet I find my life is running smoother now with less drama and now the friends I have are super value adders who encourage me to always grow.
I got a lot more of these gems, but I don’t want to ramble, tell me in the comments and with upvotes and downvotes if you think any of this is helpful, if any of this is wrong, or if any of this is just more intellectual masturbation. If I get good feedback I’ll keep going. Thank you all for your help and your support over the past few years.